Quick answer
Build the guest list as households, send save-the-dates early, send invitations with a per-guest RSVP link 8 weeks out, collect meal choices in the same form, remind non-responders twice, then export a headcount and a dietary list for your caterer.
Step 1: the guest list, properly structured
Start with names and contact details, then add structure: households for couples and families, plus-one permission per guest, and a tag for each group you will need to message separately — the travelling guests, the evening-only guests, the wedding party.
If your list already exists in a spreadsheet, import it rather than retyping it, and review the duplicate report before you send anything.
Step 2: decide the shape of the day
Most weddings are several events wearing one name: a rehearsal dinner, a ceremony, a reception, an evening party, sometimes a next-day brunch. Treating each as its own sub-event gives every part its own guest list and its own headcount, and lets a guest accept the ceremony while declining the brunch.
It also means guests only ever see the parts they are invited to, which removes the most delicate problem in wedding invitations entirely.
Step 3: the wedding page
One page carrying the schedule, the venue, travel and parking, accommodation, dress code, gift preferences and the answer to the children question. Written once, it replaces a hundred individual replies.
If the ceremony or reception is at a private address, publish the venue name and keep the full address for invited guests only.
Step 4: the invitation
A designed card, a short personal message, and one link per guest. Personal links are what make the whole process work: replies arrive attributed, plus-ones attach to the right person, and reminders can be filtered to the people who have not answered.
Step 5: meal choices and dietary needs
Collect them in the RSVP, not in a second form later. One question with your actual menu options plus a free-text box for allergies gets you a list your caterer can work from, per person, including plus-ones.
Step 6: reminders
Two, scheduled in advance: one a few weeks after the invitation, one a few days before the deadline, both to non-responders only. Then a personal round for whoever is left.
Step 7: final numbers
- Total attending, including plus-ones as individual guests
- Numbers per part of the day, if the parts differ
- Meal option counts
- Every dietary note in full, not summarised
Step 8: seating
Build the room, let households and couples be placed automatically, then spend your effort on the handful of arrangements that need human judgement. Export the plan for whoever is setting the room, and keep a copy on a phone for the day.
Step 9: the day itself
Someone other than the couple should hold the guest list. Checking guests in as they arrive gives you a real attendance figure and answers the "is everyone here yet" question without a headcount from the middle of the room.
What it costs
A small wedding fits comfortably in Inviterio's free plan — one event, up to 100 guests, the page and RSVPs included. Budget tracking, seating charts and text invitations sit on the paid plans, which are one-time payments for the event rather than a subscription you have to remember to cancel afterwards.